It's been awhile since I blogged. This was my therapy and I've missed it! This year I tried to start up a photography business which I've learned requires a blog to be successful? Yea, that blog was never created. I have all of these ideas in my head and it's difficult to keep them straight. So I write them down on paper which then gets lost among the other 100's of notes I've written to myself in hopes I'll become more 'organized'. So I feel that I need to catch everyone up (whoever 'everyone' may be) on the last year of my life, make that about a year and a half. About 2 years ago we (Daniel and I) decided that it was time for me to quit my stable, doctors office, full time job and pursue my dream of being my own boss while doing what I love, taking photos and staying home to raise my 2 year old, something I didn't get to do with my son. So, I quit only for Daniel to take a downward spiral and quit his job a month later. Needless to say, the kids and I moved into my mothers 3 bedroom trailer 3 months later. I realized that I had wasted the last 8 years of my life on a person who was never on the same page as I was. I wanted a healthy home life for my children and he wanted to do drugs, obviously those two don't mix well. Ayvin still has his own room while Izzy still enjoys sharing a bed with her mamma. That hasn't been a problem up until recently but that story is for another post. My personal life came to a halt and my depression sky rocketed. What was I going to do? I was 31 years old, living with my mother, no job, no steady income, and no plan. I was also dealing with my own demons, again, that's for another blog post. So, I started learning everything I could about photography and business. Taking workshops and online courses to better the skills I did have. I tried to find my style, that style of editing that makes one photographer stick out from the next. A year later and I THINK I'm almost there. I gave a up for about 6 months, not really advertising, just taking jobs that came from word of mouth. My drive was gone. I didn't care anymore. My kids had a roof over their head, mom was taking care of the bills, I was chipping in when I could, it was 'enough' but not ideal. I was doing what I had to do to barely scrape by. My quality of life had plummeted. Yea I would put on a show for the ones who thought I was doing well, but honestly, I had hit rock bottom. Just until recently, I've stayed there, at rock bottom. Depression is one of the worst illnesses someone could suffer. If you've never dealt with it, I'm sure you know someone who has. It is the devil. So, to end this blog, I just want to say that because of my awesome friends and family , I believe I am now reaching up and pulling myself back to normalcy or whatever that is. I've realized that I'm not just living for myself, I'm here for two more living beings and they deserve the world.